12/07/17 - Morden Hall
This wedding will always stand out for me. Not only was it a friend of mine getting married but it was my first time driving to London and I really didn't know what to expect.
In my head, I imagined the venue to be similar to a hotel on some high street surrounded by similar high rise buildings but after looking up the venue online, it seemed to be a country estate with it's own grounds. This relieved me greatly. I was a little nervous about driving in the centre of London after hearing stories from friends that they had sold their cars after moving to there because of the increased risk of blood boiling rage fits and cockneys screaming in audible rhymes out their taxi windows.
After planning my route, which took me though the quieter outskirts of the city, I left the house at 7:00am with a feeling of jolly excitement. 2 hours in and I was met with -
I knew that the only way forward was to submit to the Satnav and let it guide me through this ordeal. With my Satnav seemingly being my sworn enemy, it decided to take my through the centre of London and through Wimbledon.... On the first day of Wimbledon - Tennis Festival of Traffic Hate Crimes.
After 2 hours of pushing, shoving, scraping, honking, screaming and manic laughter, I finally got out of the throng and into
An absolutely stunning mansion with it's own grounds separating it from the world outside. The endless slow moving pig swill of traffic I had just endured was a lifetime away and I was even offered a drink on arrival. (something reserved for only the higher power that is - The Registrar)
After providing the music for the ceremony and drinks reception, it was time for food before playing the first dance. This is what I was given-
Quite possibly the nicest food I've had while working as a wedding guitarist and singer. If I was to guess, I would say it was salmon wrapped soft cheese with tasty green splodges followed by fillet mignon with dauphinoise potatoes smothered in blood from God's face. Utter heaven.
Not long after finishing my meal, I was called to play the first dance. The bride and bride wanted their choice of song played as close to the original as possible and with there being a few effects with volume that I couldn't emulate, I decided to sing it with a backing track to fill out the sound.
I'm glad I did. It was a great choice of song that got everyone involved and I'm sure that they had an amazing evening after I left. The song was - Something just like this by Cold Play & Chain Smokers.
This wedding had a very personal aspect to it. I am honoured to be a part of it and represent the Morgan family. I wish I could have stayed but had to brave the trials of the London roads and screaming cockneys with their rhymes.
London driver's rhyming slang TOP 5 (with my own translation)
"Get out the way" - Have a nice day
"Learn to drive" - It's quarter past five
"I'll smash your face in" - Taking out my wheelie bin
"What the F*^$ are you doing?" - I think your horse needs shoeing
"Go, you A*$^ hole" - I've lost my fishing pole